Daniel Seabaugh

I’m not as smart as I want you to think I am. I also don’t know as much about the Bible or theology as I want you to think I know. Likely, you’re not surprised by this, but for me, it’s good to admit. It’s refreshing to remove the mask of intellectual snobbery.

For years I’ve placed a high value on people bringing their Bible questions to me, as if my knowledge of Scripture made me special or important. It hasn’t, and I’m done pretending it does today.

I was confronted twice in the last month by a desire to look smart while not actually possessing the knowledge I wanted others to believe I had. The first time occurred while I was leading a course on the Christian faith, and two leaders approached me to ask, “Who were the sons of thunder?” I paused, then panicked. I couldn’t remember the answer. I’m the pastor leading this thing, and I should know the answer. So I did what any tired mask-wearer should do. I said, “I don’t know.” Then I pulled out my phone and Googled it. The answer, by the way, is James and John, the sons of Zebedee. Just Google it.

The second humbling occurrence came when, over a text message, a friend asked about the biblical significance of a dream. I responded by saying, “Even though my name is Daniel, I can’t interpret dreams.” I also had nothing from the Bible to add to the conversation, though my friend thought I might.

In the recent past, my lack of answers would have undone me. I would have researched more, studied harder, and read more books. I would have worked long hours to live up to my carefully crafted identity. But the truth is that I don’t know as much about the Bible as I want you to think I know. And I don’t believe learning more will produce the results I’ve longed for.

Knowledge has its place, to be sure, but knowing a lot about anything cannot ultimately save us. Knowing tons of things may give us status, or influence, or doctrinal precision, or something else; it cannot, however, in and of itself, give us the thing we were designed for: a loving relationship with God that leads to right relationships with others.

If you want to know a lot about the Bible, you have to read it a lot. If that’s your thing, I pray you’d do so to meet with Jesus, not answer every question for the sake of looking smart.

While I value education, I’d rather know Jesus than merely know a bunch of stuff about him. I’m tired of pretending. I don’t know as much as I want you to think I know. And I’m okay with that.

Jesus, help me know what is necessary for this life and the next. Help me remove the mask of looking smarter than I am.